Adoption and the Single Mother

When I heard that pop star Madonna was finally granted an adoption to an adorable 4-year-old girl named Chifundo “Mercy” James, I was happy for her. Controversy has swirled around the pop star from other South African would be adopters citing, "Madonna is getting privilege to adopt because she is rich."

I was stunned at those comments. I mean, if Mercy's father, who claims he has not seen the child since the mother died (she was a teenage mother by the way), and really wanted to care for the child, wouldn't he have at least made an attempt to get Mercy? Why wait until Madonna wants to adopt her? He claims that Mercy's maternal side blocked him from adopting her...

Well anyway, courts in South Africa ruled and Mercy will be going home to live with Madonna and the rest of her family in NYC, or wherever she wants to.

Which is the point of this posting...

There are some women who cannot have children and adoption is the choice for them. I have no problem with that as long as one can take care of a child. Single Mothers By Choice an organization fully committed to those that want to care for a child by choice. They stake their claim here:

"A single mother by choice is a woman who decided to have or adopt a child, knowing she would be her child's sole parent, at least at the outset. Typically, we are career women in our thirties and forties. The ticking of our biological clocks has made us face the fact that we could no longer wait for marriage before starting our families. Some of us went to a doctor for donor insemination or adopted in the United States or abroad. Others accidentally became pregnant and discovered we were thrilled."

I am thrilled, too. Just like it doesn't bother me if a gay or lesbian couple wants to adopt a child. As long as they can provide for the child, why not? Instilling good values to have that child grow up in a loving family is all that matters.

Why all the controversy over adopting by single mothers? Because according to the US Census Bureau, there are approximately 13.6 million single mothers raising children alone. That counts for at least 21.2 million children being raised without a father. So yes, as a single person thinking about adoption, you need money...

So I don't knock Madonna for adopting children, she is filthy rich and can do it. I don't knock Oprah who opened a school in South Africa for impoverished girls, calling them her "daughters", and I daggone sure do not knock the gay and lesbian community to reach out and adopt children. After a non-adopted child turns 18, they are on their own.

So no, I don't knock this at all. Go 'head Madonna!

But if you're a single woman and want to adopt because of not being able to conceive, or you just want to adopt versus conceive, do know the steps are plenty. It can be done though. Keep a straight and narrow record, work history and rental and/or homeownership history. And you need money. For more information on adopting, visit, www.adopting.org.

Good Luck!