Teaching Children About Death

The death of Michael Jackson really blew me away. I was trying to come home a couple of days after the awful train wreck in DC which killed nine people. It was awful and I was trying to get used to taking another route home.

I have a cell phone that does not work underground. So when my train finally pulled into the train stations that are outside, my phone rang. It was my ten-year old son.

He was crying a little. I asked him what is wrong. He said, "Mom, you didn't hear? Michael Jackson died!"

I stopped right in my tracks and was wondering why everyone on the platform was eagerly texting on their Blackberries or I-phones. It hit me, "Nah, another rumor, they're always messing with Michael."

So that's what I told him, "No, it's a rumor." And I told him to put my friend on the phone. When he got on the phone he said, "Jada, it's true, Michael Jackson died of a heart attack." Stunned, I told him I was on my way, but I worried what both of my sons were hearing on the tube since I knew how much they loved watching Michael Jackson on TV. Not the way the awful tabloids always presented him.

Trying to get over the shock, it was hard not to. Splattered all over the news, Michael Jackson's death was a tidal wave riding throughout the entire world just like his beloved music. I was hurt, but my other son was even more hurt.

With the creation of the Internet and clever sites like youtube, my son has always viewed at least one Michael Jackson video per day. Me, too...

The day Michael Jackson died, my son was watching Beat It! Then to hear on the news an hour later that he was dead, was unreal to my kids. So I can only imagine how Michael's kids were feeling.

I know how they felt, because at age 11, I lost my mother. I didn't understand why, couldn't understand and really didn't want to. In my little world, she was the only person that ever loved me. I can only imagine Michael's kids felt the same way.

When my mother died, no one sat me down and really explained the death of my mother. All I knew was that I had to wear a white dress at my mother's funeral, some Down South tradition. I wondered why my mother's face was cold? Was she going to wake up? Why didn't she at least call me to say goodbye, I'm leaving for a while...And on and on and on...

When I heard Jermaine Jackson's interview with Matt Lauer, he said something that struck out at me. Heavily. He said they took the children to see their father because it would help them understand better. I agree with him. Had my family taken me to see my mother beforehand, I don't think I would have gone through several years of unanswered questions later on in my adult life.

When I saw Paris Jackson outpour her heart in front of her father's casket, I cried right along with her. I knew what she was feeling. But I knew how brave she was. When I kissed my own mother goodbye, no one gave me the chance to say anything about her.

I explained the details to my sons about death. No I don't know exactly where we go when we die, but I do believe in heaven because I am a Christian. It is hard to fathom what the Bible teaches about heaven, because no one can come back and tell of its greatness.

I overheard someone criticize Michael Jackson stating, "Michael sold his soul to the devil." I beg to differ! But I tried not to get caught up in that madness. What matters is that three children have lost their father, which children do go through everyday, but this was too much. When I heard Paris say, "My father..." She didn't say, "My pop icon father..." She knew what he meant to her in her heart.

Age 11 is a critical age to lose a parent. Tween years are difficult. Heck, all of the child's years are difficult as they try to find a place in the world. It is important that we teach our children about fear, death, whatever form of heaven you believe in as well as the intracacies of this world. We cannot sugarcoat and nursery rhyme everything, because it is not possible.

I know Michael was a good father. Whether or not he had them or not, so what? They were his children. They have his tendencies. Good hearted and kind. I don't care what the tabloids or even some news stations are saying, that's hogwash.

I hope the children will be able to maintain normal lives, but this is only wishful thinking. Let us all teach our children that forever on earth is not promised, but do so in a way that they will understand.

For more information, please visit: http://www.trauma-pages.com/s/perrylos.php, http://www.missfoundation.org/kids/index.html, www.willmarcenter.org/


For more of Michael's legacy, please visit: http://healtheworld.us/members/htwf

His music: www.michaeljackson.com and here: http://www.allmichaeljackson.com/index.html and here: http://community.guinnessworldrecords.com/_Michael-Jackson-dies-at-50/blog/407707/7691.html