Why don’t we go out anymore?

My ten-year old son asked me this question the other night en route to picking up my thirteen year old son from his all day school trip to Philadelphia. I had to talk to him in a kid friendly way without bringing up the real reason why we don’t "go out" anymore.

I love the fact that DC has a slew of museums to visit, most of them free. The vendors in the downtown area sell all sorts of souvenirs, including the huge wave of “Yes We Can” items courtesy of our President, Barack Obama. I used to take my children to these places quite often, the weather really disturbing our weekend visits. However, things have changed.

Motherly instinct, especially for single mothers, has to be used in such a way that we do not scare our children. My fear of the recent events of suicides over the turmoil of the economy has led me to sort of “stay inside” for a while. I am not a psychic here, but if I can avoid some kind of danger, then so be it. But it’s only temporary.

As single mothers, we have to salvage and save every dime. It is hard work. The economy these days does not make it any easier for us or anyone, to forget that there are such issues at hand. I believe as mothers, particularly single mothers, you need to tone it down a notch. By that I mean:

-Stop watching the news with your children when you hear about tragedies that have occurred due to the turmoil of the economy. Explain to them what is going on and why we must still be aware without being overly paranoid.

-Look for warning signs in your children in terms of depression, if you suspect a change. They could either be not eating, getting out of bed, not smiling, chatting on the phone with their friends. Simply not wanting to do the normal things they would normally do.

-If you are in debt, you do not need to let your children know this. They are kids and need to learn about money, but you shouldn’t broadcast the fact that money is hindering the family. Perhaps going over bills and budgeting after the children are asleep is best.

-Let your children know that there is a better way and things are only temporary. Assure them by eliminating that extra video game per month to a bi- monthly rental instead or perhaps get your children involved in other activities. Volunteering is a great way to start. Libraries are free.

-Last but not least, let your children know the consequences if they seek other measures of getting money. We still need to teach our children the value of a dollar and the value of life. And freedom.

Single mothers should take it easy on themselves if they cannot afford a certain brand of shoes, entertainment, clothing, or that concert ticket for their budding teenager. It is not the end of the world. There will be other times to get these things. I have to cool it myself when I take my children places and not overspend. Emotional spending is the worse kind, it is a hole that can sometimes take a year to get out of. It is best to keep your emotions about money in check.

I answered my son simply by letting him know that we do go out, it is just in our neighborhood instead of me driving eleven miles into DC so I can save gas. I also let him know that things happen everywhere and we are not always safe from it, but in these times, you never know. He understood that we can have fun right in our own backyard. And he also understood that things can happen anywhere and we have to be aware of our surroundings at all times.

After we had our talk, he didn’t ponder anymore; was just happy to see his brother come back safely from his trip to Philadelphia. And I am proud to say that my son spent half of his spending money, explaining that the sights were more glorious than spending money...